He Knows My Refusal to Forgive
Scripture Reading: Matthew 18:15-35
Meditation
Peter’s been hurt one too many times.
One of his fellow believers has taken advantage of the gift of grace and has turned it into a license – a sanction to sin. To Peter’s credit, he’s tried to work it out. Step by step, he’s followed the law of love: in all things try and win the brother.
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.”1
Peter’s been generous in his forgiveness. Seven times he’s erased the man’s debt, that’s four more times than the rabbis suggested. But this unruly brother is like a dog returning to his vomit; whatever sin he swallows, he keeps throwing up all over Peter.
When confronted, this brother is quick to accept Peter’s gift of forgiveness. He unwraps, opens it, and even says, “Thank you.” But then, as soon as Peter’s back is turned, this brother takes the gift of grace, rewraps it, and delivers it back with a dagger hidden inside.
For Peter, it’s the same painful stab, with the same knife, in the same place. It’s just inflicted on a different day.
Wounded, Peter wonders,
“When is enough, enough?”
As Jesus talks about the economy of forgiveness in the kingdom of God, Peter begins to do the math: How much is too much? How often is too often? What’s the limit? Where’s the line in the sand?
Finally, Peter gets up the nerve to ask Jesus,
“Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”2
In response to his own question, Peter offers up a generous response—seven times. That’s more than double the amount required by rabbinical law. But Jesus stops the calculations. He tells Peter to put the ledger away. No more talk of debits and credits. The kingdom of God isn’t about balancing the books between brothers. It’s about infinite grace for immeasurable offense.
Jesus responds,
“Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.”3
Jesus makes it clear that, in his kingdom, forgiveness isn’t a measurable entity. It can’t be portioned out like a month’s worth of staples or rationed like water in a desert. In the kingdom of God, there are no limits. The King has no quotas. Earthly forgiveness has no ceiling because heaven’s grace has no roof. In the economy of the kingdom, if forgiveness between brothers is the currency, then the grace of God is the gold standard that backs it up.
For Peter, the math is still fuzzy and so Jesus tells him a story in order to illustrate the economics of the kingdom of God.
“The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.”
“The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.”4
Jesus goes on to say that, no sooner did the servant leave the presence of the king than he came upon a fellow servant who owed him ten dollars. The forgiven servant seized the man by his throat and demanded payment. Though the man begged for mercy, the servant took no pity on him and had him thrown into debtor’s prison. Those who stood watching were outraged and ran to the king and told him everything that had happened. The king was furious and sent for the man. As the servant stood cowering before the king, the king reopened the man’s account, reapplied the one hundred thousand dollar debt, threw the man into debtor’s prison, and had the screws put to him until he paid the amount in full.
Jesus ends the story by saying,
“And that’s exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn’t forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy.”5
These are strong words for strong wills. They are filled with fiery force because failure to forgive the brother is an affront to the grace of the King. When Jesus asks Peter to forgive, he’s only asking him to do what he himself has already done—given infinite grace for immeasurable offense.
In the King’s kingdom, forgiveness knows no limits. Jesus doesn’t excuse the sin but he does pardon the sinner. In an act of sacrifice, he himself absorbs the loss and pays off the balance. In his kingdom, there will be no debts. No debtors. Sin is forgiven. Grace is received. And so, mercy, in abundance, is to be given to others.
“Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.”6
This is the prayer of the kingdom.
Reflection
In what way are you begging for forgiveness? How much do you owe the King?
Who owes you? Are you willing to cancel such debts?
Why is it so easy to receive forgiveness and so hard to forgive?
Are there any limits to your forgiveness? Do you struggle with “how much” or “how often?”
Prayer
Father,
Forgiveness is so easy to receive but so hard to give. I beg for it for myself, but, when it’s lavished upon me, I begrudge it to others. Though your forgiveness has no limits, I limit it. I never tire of receiving it but when I’m asked to give it away to a brother or sister who has hurt me, I wonder,
“How much more? How often? When is enough, enough?”
During this day, overwhelm me with the bounty of your love and then let me forgive out of that abundance. Help me see that I always owe you more than what my brother or sister owes me. As forgiveness was the defining mark of my Savior’s life, may it also define the way that I live. When I hesitate to give mercy, remind me that immeasurable grace has been poured over my innumerable offenses.
Keep me forgiven and forgiving others.
It’s in your Son’s name that I pray. Amen.
1Matthew 18:15-17 2Matthew 18:21 3Matthew 18:22
4Matthew 18:23-27 5Matthew 18:35 6Matthew 6:12
All Scripture references in the meditation are marked by italics and are taken from the Gospel reading for the day. Those verses quoted outside of the chosen reading for the day are noted. All Scripture quoted in this post is taken from THE MESSAGE: Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 2000, 2001 & 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.